10 great things about the freaking hot weather!

It has been miserably hot here in Kansas for far too long.  We’ve had over a month of record breaking high temperatures, and record low rainfall.  It’s a serious crisis, and can literally be deadly if  you aren’t careful.  If we don’t get some rain soon, there won’t be any hay for the cattle and horses next year.

To say it sucks has been an understatement.

It’s hard to keep working in the heat, and eventually it starts to consume your personality.  Normaly positive people become cranky and argumentative.  I’m one of them.

I’m sick of the heat, but I’m also sick of my attitude about it.  So, I’m trying to come up with some positive answers to some of my whining  about the hot weather.  What follows is my hopefully funny effort at shaking off my attitude and lifting my spirits.

Ten Great Things About The Hot Weather

It’s so hot, the only summer on record that has been hotter was 1936, the year of the dust bowl.  Yay!  I’m observing history!  That way, when I retire to be a greeter at Wal-Mart, I’ll have something other to say than “Welcome to Wal-Mart!  Here’s your bleeping shopping cart!”

It’s so hot the only thing growing is grasshoppers.  They are attacking my garden, my yard any my house plants!  Yay!  My chickens are so happy!  They love grasshoppers and l love the sound they make as they rip the little buggers limb from  limb!

It’s so hot nothing is growing and everything is dying. Yay!  It’s so hot and dry even the ragweed is dying!  Seasonal alergies be gone!

It’s so hot, that after days of 107 and above, when I see the bank clock and it says it’s only 103, It barely registers as being a high temp. Yay!  I’m a living breathing example of how adaptable the human body is!  I can tolerate over 100 degree temp changes from winter to summer!  Try that, you ectothermic reptiles!

It’s so hot, I’m going broke buying Gatoraid to keep my electrolytes up.  Yay!  I have fully functional sweat glands that a horse would be envious of, and that are a wonderful example of how intelligently designed/evolved/created we are as a species.

It’s so hot working at the zoo keeping the animals cool, we forget to take care of ourselves.  Yay!  I have a job where ambushing your co-workers with a garden hose is not only tolerated, it’s considered being safety conscious.

Okay, so that was only six.  But my creativity is zapped like a bug in a microwave.

How are you all doing with this weather?  Let me know if you have a particularly fun strategy for keeping your cool when Mother nature is having a melt down.

Stay cool, and think positive!


12 thoughts on “10 great things about the freaking hot weather!

  1. This is timely because I’ve been whining all week about the hot weather. Here in NC we say it’s the humidity, not the heat. Every time you walk out the door you immediately don a layer of moisture. As far as I know it hasn’t been over 100, just in the 90’s with a heat index over 100.

    So here’s my positive thought: It’s so hot there’s no need to go to a beauty salon for a whole body mask or a sauna. Mother nature has both. A natural moisture mask that clings to your whole body while the heat bakes it off. A great bargain all you have to do is walk outside! Don’t worry it’s renewable from now to September. Lol.

    Can’t wait til it cools off!

    We don’t have reliable air conditioning in our car so when we stop at a light we have to turn it off or the car will stop running. We saw

  2. Oops! Forgot about that line. We saw a sign at a church that said ‘Hell is Hotter’. We’re not sure if they meant it to be humorous but it struck us as funny. It gave my daughter and I a chuckle in that extremely hot car.

  3. I love this! I’m so tired of hearing myself complain about the heat as we work on record number of consecutive triple digit heat days yet I can’t seem to STOP MYSELF. Why is that the only chit-chat topic available for me at the grocery store check-out line? LOL

    I’ve seen “Hell is Hotter” too on a few signs too. Maybe this is all just an effective ad campaign? 🙂

    • Callene Rapp says:

      LOL! That could be!

      I think the heat is one of those “high concept” things that everyone can relate to, that’s why we find ourselves commiserating with random strangers about it. Thanks for dropping by!

  4. Callene! I love your blog, your humor— I laughed out loud and scared my dog. It’s hot in Indiana too. The only tip I have for keeping cool is a wet rag on the back of your neck, paper towels work too. Lovely thought huh? Thanks for making the scorching heat a positive.

    • Callene Rapp says:

      Kate, thanks so much for your reply. Hope your dog is okay! That’s the highest praise you could have given me. Where in Indiana are you? Most of my family was from there.

  5. Naomi Bulger says:

    This is so cute! I hope the cool change comes soon. Hugs from winter in Australia.

  6. […] We had some record heat.  And I mean not just a little.  We had the hottest summer, and the most consecutive 100+ degree days since that little event called the dust bowl.  Combined with the heavens shutting off the faucet that provided rain in about June, the summer of 2011 sucked, to put it mildly. […]

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