Random Acts of Entropy — Gopher Tuna!!

One of my friends posted this video to Facebook the other day, and I seriously nearly wet my pants when I watched it.  Ok, it wasn’t nearly.  I did wet my pants a little bit. Oh, fine.  A lot.



I’ve heard this song a million times in different movie soundtracks, etc. including that cute little movie starting the guinea pigs known as G Force, and while I always tried to guess at the lyrics, I never came up with anything quite so clever.  I mean seriously.  Octopus. Give him boots.

After I stopped laughing, I decided to take the high road and look up what the lyrics really were.  Of course, I don’t speak latin, so thanks to that ever-present font of knowledge known as Wikipedia, I found a translation, side by side:

O Fortuna velut luna statu variabilis, semper crescis aut decrescis; vita detestabilis nunc obdurat et tunc curat ludo mentis aciem, egestatem, potestatem dissolvit ut glaciem.
Sors immanis et inanis, rota tu volubilis, status malus, vana salus semper dissolubilis, obumbrata et velata michi quoque niteris; nunc per ludum dorsum nudum fero tui sceleris.
Sors salutis et virtutis michi nunc contraria, est affectus et defectus semper in angaria. Hac in hora sine mora corde pulsum tangite; quod per sortem sternit fortem, mecum omnes plangite!

O Fortune, just like the moon thou art variable, always dost thou wax and wane. Detestable life, first dost thou mistreat us, and then, whimsically, thou heedest our desires. As the sun melts the ice, so dost thou dissolve both poverty and power.
Monstrous and empty fate, thou, turning wheel, art mean, voiding good health at thy will. Veiled in obscurity, thou dost attack me also. To thy cruel pleasure I bare my back.
Thou dost withdraw my health and virtue; thou dost threaten my emotion and weakness with torture. At this hour, therefore, let us pluck the strings without delay. Let us mourn together, for fate crushes the brave.[3]

It turns out the lyrics to this bad boy is from a medieval gothic poem, and was set to music by German composer Carl Orff in the mid 1930’s.

Does anyone but me think the translation sounds way too much like being a writer addressing the muse?!

If you need to clean your brain after the animated version, here you go:


A lovely classical rendition.

But I dare  you:  Listen to this song ever again without hearing Gopher Tuna and thinking of an Octopus in Boots heading to North Korea.

And if you can successfully go through the next 48 hours without this song playing on your mental loop:

Please!  For the love of God, leave a comment in the comment section and tell me how you did it!  It won’t go away!  Help me!

Gopher Tuna!  Suck Juice from Moose!


3 thoughts on “Random Acts of Entropy — Gopher Tuna!!

  1. Thanks Callene … that should keep me totally distracted through the weekend! Hilarious!

  2. curiocat says:

    I was going to put a link to Jenny up here but decided I couldn’t be so cruel. Lol. That song has been stuck in my head forever. It shows up at random moments over the years and heaven help me if it comes on the radio.

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